Down and out...

My quest for perfection has made me searched and analysed every single "babyish" blogskin that I could use.One that screams "Mine and only mine"...."My precious"...(as in the movie,"Lord of the Ring").One that was only meant for my dear yasmin.

So I put my foot down on me.And said...enough is enough...this will be the one(my current one lah)and no more changes for me.Update the blog....that's the priority!
So although I have this voice(like some schizo)saying...so boring...so boring....sorry....gotta let go.

My quest for perfection has made me drawn a too-perfect picture of what mums are suppose to be.I am fighting so hard to have all these images erased out of my mind and just be a mum to yasmin....plain old mum.Not superwoman!I just cannot be.But it's really hard.

Harder when you flip magazines and read articles of working woman who have it all-career and family,pictures of immaculately dressed mums(goo gooo gaa gaa-ing about how i love my baby and myself...),pictures of celebrity mums(waaa.....so pretty after giving birth....with the help of those endorsements)....and wat nots.It just gets you down.

And when I read books on how to discipline babies,I blame myself if yasmin is not behaving.The books just made it sound oh-so simple.

As you can see....I'm going downhill from here...

We went out today.....yasmin,me and dh.It was really kind of dh to bring me out but I just couldn't appreciate the day.I was tired.Yasmin was active as usual.And I couldn't handle that.I was down with flu since yesterday.I was light-headed....cranky...and just plain-out!

And there was this little gal who ran everywhere anywhere...whooaaaa....those damn-old palpitations are coming back to me.

She questions me over and over again while I tried hard not to show my annoyance.She's so bright....I simply could bear to dampen this inquisitive nature.I feel so quilty.

My house looks like a war zone.....

My work unfinished...

My dear Yasmin neglected....

I wish I could blog about oh how I love my baby...my dh...my work and everything around me.

But sorry....this time I'm really out and just trying to just heal from this damn flu and stop being a perfectionista!

Give my energy back!(but then again my energy is out even when I'm not having flu-sigh:( )

I need my sleep now.With my dearie hubby and yasmin.

Nites.Hopefully things get better tomorrow(sniffles).